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But in lifting the fog around infertility, doctors have moved nature’s most intimate act deeper into the lab, and created a population of prospective parents—straight, gay, single, and married—who crave a more human connection.That need is now being met by sites like FSDR, which joins a global boom in the exchange of free, fresh sperm between strangers.But most of the donors were “very nice and obviously well educated.” After careful vetting—consisting of a homemade questionnaire, interviews, reference checks, and STD tests—the couple settled on a 30-something professional and arranged the donation.Keep up with this story and more Like most women in search of free sperm, Beth and Nicole asked for artificial insemination, or AI.Curious, Beth and Nicole posted to a Yahoo Group, and within days they had more than a dozen suitors.
Most of them are in the United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia, where sperm banks have seen donations drop in the wake of recent laws that limit fees and, in some cases, forbid anonymity. S., where college kids can make as much as ,000 a year from sperm banks for anonymous twice-weekly donations.
As the first generation of donor-kids come of age, a growing number are expressing frustration at this closed-door policy.
Confessions of a Cryokid and Anonymous Us are among the websites where they come to vent, airing unhappiness at feeling “half-adopted” and aching at the thought that their fathers could be anyone. What if his real motive is sex—and would that even matter? To find out, I registered at FSDR as a “just looking” member and spent two months following forum discussions, participating in chats, surfing through profiles, and interviewing more than a dozen donors and recipients.
But the site does have an active cohort of straight pairs and married women, like a 37-year-old homemaker near Columbus, Ohio, who gave her name as Wendy. Many donors say they are motivated not by sex so much as a desire to spawn as many children as possible.
She says on a forum post that her husband—whose sperm count was diminished by a childhood case of the mumps—interviewed prospective donors with her. “It seems more ‘our’ baby if sex is not involved,” she recalls him saying. Donors on FSDR are a bawdier mix of high intentions and caveman dreams. “I actually have little interest in even a stone-cold fox if she isn’t going to get pregnant,” says Ray, a 38-year-old who declined to give his real name.